


Misprints

by SandrC



Series: I Wish to Lodge a Complaint [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Amnesty Arc, Character Study, TAZ: Amnesty - Freeform, an interesting character for sure, back on my bullshit again, i fucking love this old theatre gay, in this house we stan clint mcelroy's characters, ned doesnt know how to friend, no lies no slander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 22:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15253014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: Everyone has a collection; whether it's rocks, bugs, stamps, or even bar trivia. For Ned Chicane, it's middle names.Ironically, not all of them fit.More ironically, some of them don't fit because he refuses to let them.(Or: once again I'm back on my bullshit, stanning Clint's character.)





	Misprints

**Author's Note:**

> Boy I'm loving Amnesty. I'm loving all of it. I'm even loving Griffin giving us a wider range of accents and voices. Even if most of them are similar to Balance folk, he's trying.
> 
> (To say nothing of the cockney accent Ditto you know what you did. Stop. Blease.)
> 
> But once again I am here to stan Ned "Theatre Gay" Chicane. Pots and pans y'all, I'm a fucking disaster who loves everything Clint does right now because I guess I'm that predictable. Whoops. Sorrynotsorry.
> 
> Hey though, forreal? The amount of wonderful older women in this arc is amazing? Mama, grizzled and Tired, Victoria with her fucking eyepatch and weed and gun!!!! Minerva—a delight of indeterminate age—and Moira the ghost. Amazing. Thank you for these competent women.

Everyone has things they collect. Whether it's coins or stamps or matchbox cars or even bar trivia; everyone has their hobby. Their one thing that clutters the house up. The thing that makes moving hell.

For Edmund Chicane, it's "middle names".

(The reason that "middle names" is in scare quotes is because they are _not_ names and they certainly _do not_ belong between _Ned_ and _Chicane_. Therefore, "middle names" should be taken with a grain of salt the size of a Himalayan salt lamp. Fucking _ginormous_. A disaster sized grain of salt. Just don't believe a word the man says. Ned Chicane probably isn't even his _real_ name anyway. The fraud.)

Edmund "Ninja" Chicane finds himself looking down the barrel of a pump-action shotgun and into the singular eye of Victoria. He files that name away as a misnomer. _Whoops_. Not a "middle name" for Ned. Fucked that one _right_ pear shaped. But Victoria shoulders the gun in favor of a bed and some food and Ned thinks long and hard about people and belonging and _home_. Been a while since he's had a home so..."Ninja" can be let go in exchange for that. Seems only right after all.

Edmund "Fucking Riot" Chicane jokes happily with a slightly tipsy Duck. It's easier when the ranger has had a few drinks but as time goes on and Duck starts to trust Ned more and more, well...

It's _nice_ anyway.

But he shelves "Fucking Riot" away when Duck needs a shoulder to lean on. It's not often, but he tries to be the kind of man that Victoria saw that night, even if it means making reparations for his long rap sheet. And Duck need _sincerity_ more than _humor_ most times so...

It's a strange feeling, this warmth in his chest.

Edmund "Fucking" Chicane laughs when Mama glares at him in distaste. It's not an unfamiliar feeling, nor an unwarranted one. Instead he accepts the accusations wholly, even if this is only a dream. But it's not a dream because he falls asleep once and wakes up only once as well. It's real and hard and he has to swallow a lump the size of his fist that has lodged itself in his throat because _holy fuck monsters are real._

Ned isn't a brave man. He hates being told what to do but—

There's something refreshing about Duck putting his foot down in _fear_ instead of his normal pragmatism and something more refreshing in Aubrey—a new friend, dare he say it—sincerely telling Duck off. So he shoves "Fucking" under a rug and holsters his Magnum and grabs his keys. Fuck; if Duck Newton can be a coward, he sure as shit can be a hero for once.

Edmund "Discretion" Chicane feels guilt as he watches this fed fucking waltz into Amnesty Lodge and state, plain as the weather or _how do you do_ , that he's here to find Bigfoot. Now Ned isn't an honest man to begin with but Barclay is a decent person, Bigfoot or not, so damn Ned for lashing back with honeyed words and hidden lies. _Sure_ , friend Stern, I'll show you the video. Just gimme half a mo'. I'll have it _tomorrow_. Come by the Cryptonomica. I promise. I _promise_. _I promise_.

More like Edmund "Liar" Chicane but he'll wear that one with pride because fuck it all, supposed head count or not, Barclay is his fucking _friend_. He doesn't have many of those. _Fuck_.

And he doesn't even tell Kirby. That may have to change but...he'll wear "Discretion" for a little bit longer. He can keep it for just a little longer.

(He can lie to himself for just a _little_ longer.)

But one day some of his other "middle names" may come back to haunt him. Maybe ones from less _savory_ times. Maybe ones from less _wonderful_ times. Maybe ones from _sadder_ times.

Stern stares him down and threatens him and damn he feels his hackles rise. A liar, sure, and a conman and a thief, but he's considering adding making this man disappear to his list.

After all, he's Ned "Discretion" Chicane and nothing is more discreet than a problem just... _disappearing_ , right?

But Victoria would've hated it and Duck would hate it and Aubrey would hate it and Barclay would hate it and Mama would hate it and suddenly he remembers he has people he doesn't want to disappoint and it catches in his chest with the grip of a newborn child.

And maybe some of the "middle names" he's accrued over the years are misprints. Maybe they don't fit any more.

Maybe he has a home.

Maybe he's just Ned Chicane, however true that may be.

And maybe that's _enough_ for now.


End file.
